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Thursday, March 18th, 2010
Something freaky is happening to my belly button.
What to Expect has been confidently telling me for weeks now that my belly button probably has gone from an outie to an innie and that it’s a normal part of pregnancy everyone (they seem to think) goes through.
But every time I get one of their helpful e-mails about belly buttons, I smirk and say, “Ah, but you don’t know my belly button.” My navel is – or I should say was – an endless crevasse where even the bravest spelunkers fear to travel. D, who has a lovely little round belly button, shallow and cute, has always teased me about my bottomless pit. He is forever trying to touch it, and I’m forever shooing him away from it because belly buttons are weird and I don’t want mine touched, okay, so back off, dude, would you???
Anyway, D and I agreed that my belly button was unlikely to ever “pop out like a timer on a well-done turkey,” as What to Expect puts it. I consulted the other women at my June moms message board, and there were several others whose belly buttons haven’t popped out yet and just as many women whose never did in their previous pregnancies.
So I felt pretty confident in my deduction that I would never see the bottom of my belly button. Then, two nights ago, I was sitting on this very sofa contemplating getting up and going to bed, and I decided to contemplate my navel while I was at it. To my surprise – and, yes, horror – my belly button looked very strange indeed. It was all puffy, like the end of one of those water balloon snakes that slides out of your hand when you squeeze it too tight, or like a stocking you’re working on turning right side out.
Worse, when I touched it, it felt different, no longer stretched tight like all the skin around it but somehow – again – puffy. Eeewwghhhhew.
I contemplated this further in the mirror and came to the conclusion something was definitely happening. Then in the movie theater bathroom yesterday (my sister, some friends and I went to see Alice in Wonderland, so perhaps I was in the mood for the bizarre), I took a look at the creepy thing again. And something incredible had happened. Now, in the span of a day, my belly button had changed enough that I could see the unthinkable – the bottom!
I still haven’t quite recovered from the shock. This is a part of my anatomy that hasn’t seen the light of day since … ever? And just think – this baby still has several pounds to grow! Could my deep crevasse of a belly button turn into an outie after all?
For some reason, since seeing the bottom of my belly button, I’ve had that Brady Bunch song in my head, “Time to Change,” from when Peter’s voice changes right before the Brady clan’s big singing debut. Poor Peter just wanted his voice to go back to the way it was. My belly button – I’m told – will go back to the way it was post-baby, but other things won’t. My friend told me I have much worse shocks than this in store, and I’m sure that’s true.
But, I guess as my body keeps on freaking me out, I’ll just take Peter Brady’s advice:
“When it’s time to change (when it’s time to change)
Don’t fight the tide, go along for the ride
Don’t ya see.
When it’s time to change, you’ve got to rearrange,
Who you are and what you’re gonna be.
Sha na na na na na na na na
Sha na na na na.
Sha na na na na na na na na
Sha na na na na.”
Kristin, you are the funniest, most lovable person I know! :) You’re always so honest and open about things that a lot of people probably wouldn’t share…and then with your writing style I can actually visualize what you’ve written and the image in my head now of you in the movie theater bathroom checking out your belly button is quite amusing!
My belly button didn’t pop out either. It was pretty shallow pre-pregnancy and it’s deeper now…now that I think about it, those Oreos I just ate were probably a bad idea. LOL
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